Sunday, February 26, 2012

Chasing the Dragon.. Or Not?

Boston is 7 weeks away - it coincides with the day I'm flying straight OUT of this town because I'm bitter and childish over the fact that I cannot seem to qualify for that damn race. With that mother of a race being so close, weekend mornings are littered with runners donning fuel belts, GU packet, and compression socks. You can usually tell the newbies from the experienced runners, and you can often read how their run is going simply by observing their faces. If you head down to the Boston course, there are herds of runners, sponsored water stops, and the anxious faces of thousands of runners as they preview the course for the big day.

As I headed out for my "long run" this morning, I saw a lot of those runners. I felt that pang of jealousy that always comes when someone refers to "running Boston", and then continued to carry my non-Boston qualifying body down the road. I watched many runners wearing their coveted Boston Marathon jackets as they sauntered down the street, as I thought "someday".

I have spent so much of my running life going chasing that dragon. It has always been 3:40 or bust. Now, of course, the BAA has made qualifying even more difficult, and I must run a 3:34:59 to even be considered for registration. I think for every runner, getting to Boston is a big deal. For those of us who live around here, growing up watching it every year, being able to toe the line in Hopkinton is every kids dream. Well, every nerdy runner kids dream.

Sometime in the past year, I have loosened the grip on that dream. Definitely haven't let go of it (as exhibited by my reaction when someone speaks of the race), but have decided to not let that race define how successful I am as a runner. And this morning, during my run, I thought a lot about all of the great things that I've done as a runner; and none of them happen to include the word "Boston".

I've been able to run in gorgeous locations (Big Sur Marathon - seeing pods of whales while running along Highway 1),experienced a rockstar marathon location (LA Marathon, which goes through LA, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, and ends in Santa Monica), and get the red carpet marathon experience (Chicago Marathon, where they literally carpeted the surface of every bridge). I've also gotten to pretend to be Rocky several times (Philly Marathon), and run along the serene Lake Champlain (Vermont City Marathon). I've had the opportunity to run a gorgeous point-to-point marathon in a most unlikely location (Twin Cities Marathon - Minneapolis to St Paul). Finally, I've been able to experience a PR in my very own state - the Bay State Marathon in Lowell, on a cold, windy, rainy October day.

I still have so much to accomplish as an athlete - I want to compete in an Ironman, run a 50 mile ultra, and do a multi-day adventure race in an awesome location. And yes, qualify for the Boston Marathon.

My surgical consultation is on Wednesday, and I'm up to 25 questions so far for the surgeon. I have a lot of hair-brained ideas brewing for the latter half of 2012, based on my proposed recovery timeline. And whether or not that includes qualifying for Boston remains to be seen. Regardless, I plan to have a lot of fun after my surgery, all while kicking some serious ass.

Happy Training!



15 comments:

  1. Hugs. I absolutely understand. Next Sunday I am supposed to be running a half with my hubby (his first). I have crazy ideas that I can make it happen, but deep down, I know I won't run. The route passes right in front of my house so for weeks I've been watching the runners train. Heavy heart. I try not to feel jealous, but rather be happy for them. But it's not easy. I am so sorry you're going through this.

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    1. I know you get it - I have been reading your blog religiously, bc it provides me w (1) perspective and (2) someone who understands. Very lucky to have you to talk/vent to.. Thank you :)

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  2. Heather's comment really says it all. ((hugs)) to you both. But I will say this: you are really handling this injury and pending surgery SO well. I give you much respect and credit for that, because I am not sure I'd handle it quite so gracefully. And I can't wait to hear your hair-brained ideas post-recovery too :-)

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    1. Thanks J.. We'll catch up on hair-brained ideas over wine and sushi. xoxo

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    2. Um yes, Jo said what I was gonna say (as did Heather) much more eloquently than I can right now - I have major travel brain over here!! You are amazing, so strong, so driven so AWESOME. I can't wait to discuss further over sushi VERY VERY SOON!! xoxo

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  3. I can't tell you how much I relate. I had to completely just forget about Boston in order sanity. It was eating me alive. I approached all marathons with the "BQ or Bust" mentality and I busted so many times. Boston isn't going anywhere. Let them make that standard even tighter-- your day will come you will get there. You are a very dedicated runner. If I were you, I would feel the same way about wanting to leave town on marathon weekend. Hang in there!

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    1. Thank you so much :) And yes I'll get there, even if it's til I'm super old! Ha!

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  4. You'll get there one day!!! I know what you mean though...being around Boston it is as if it is like being part of a secret society! I bought my way in but you'll get it!!! Stay away from Channel 5 weather on the weekend...they give the Boston marathon long run forecast!!

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    1. Oh I will :) And I know I'll get there someday. I just need to stop making it my singular goal.

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  5. I have been chasing that dragon too but maybe one day I will get there! Our day will come! I am planning the same way as you are..last half of 2012 due to an injury. Hang in there!

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    1. We are on similar paths my friend. And we'll get there someday.. Even if I don't get that BQ til I'm 64, I'll get it!

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  6. I would do the same thing and get out of town. I totally get how hard it is on your mental game. hugs to you, you WILL get there!

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    1. Thanks K - I know I'll get there, in my own time. Thank YOU!

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  7. I'm very new to running and when I saw your post... it made me think "Will I be able to run Boston one day?" Probably every runner's dream is to run Boston, even the beginners, it would seem. I'm sure you'll get there, if you stay as dedicated as you seem to be now. Good luck!

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  8. I can so relate to this post, and the only place I "see" the Boston mania is in blogs. I'm trying to be genuinely happy for those who qualified for next month's race, and on one level I am, but I also feel like the kid left out of the party. And I seem to have a special place of resentment for those who just sailed into it without trying, when I've been chipping away at this for years (and not just the years I've been writing my blog).

    All that said, I have no doubt you can do it once you get healed. Just pack it away for now! That race isn't going anywhere.

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