Wednesday, November 9, 2011
I suck at being patient. Plain and simple. I am a Type A/OCD'er that like to make a plan and then execute to perfection. That could be the reason I make a pretty decent Project Manager when I'm not pounding pavement. Waiting around for something to get done, or having to wait for a decision to be made for me makes my skin crawl.
So imagine how I'm doing right now knowing that I WILL run a half marathon this winter and a spring marathon in 2012, but not knowing which races those are? Its.Freaking.Killing.Me. Coach says that we want to see certain numbers in training and heart rate, on easy runs and in workouts, before pulling the race trigger. I've been told that my awesome workout numbers lately have been due largely in part to my patience, and that all this waiting will be rewarded. It damn well better be, because I'm losing years off my life marathon searching, and no longer have any fingernails.
I spazzed out on coach last night and again this morning, because for every marathon I throw at her, she has a reason why it might not necessarily be the right one. I told her I was incredibly frustrated, and hated this waiting game. When she asked why, I told her I hate training for something obscure, and not being able to have a date/time/location for my next marathon. I told her I love plastering my office walls with course maps, and getting really excited about a specific race. Her response? "It's time to learn to love the process as much as the goal. Love the running itself one moment at a time". How do you argue with someone who goes all Buddha on your ass? Right.
This morning I did a workout - the same one I've done for the past 3 Wednesdays. And each one has gotten progressively faster, and my HR has gotten lower with those faster efforts. Booyah. When I emailed to tell her the good news, she acknowledged my awesomeness. She didn't go so far as to tell me that I should start training with Kara Goucher, but I'm sure that's coming soon. In the email, she acknowledged my "irky-ness" at not having nailed down a race, but also reiterated that she wants my training and readiness to dictate the race I run, not vice versa. I get it. I still hate it, but I get it.
This is why people like myself have coaches; they're so damn smart. If left to my own devices, I would have signed up for a marathon in February, March, and probably April too just because I can. The likely result would be a complete hemorrhage of my bank account, and a few more 4 hour marathons to add to my resume. Handing yourself over to someone else involves sacrifice and change (ahem, patience), but I have to believe will also reap the greatest rewards. I feel very lucky to have someone who's not afraid to tell me no, in order to get me the results I'm looking for.
I hope to be able to put names to these elusive races some time in the next few weeks. I'm thinking of it as an early Christmas present from Coach. In the meantime, I will get by trying to embrace both the process, as well as running in that moment. Oh, and by drinking wine.