I'm struggling lately with decision making. Very unsettling for a Type A like myself, but I can't seem to snap out of it. Its this pesky 70.3, that lies 26 days in my future, which I just cannot bring myself to withdraw from.
Being deep in the throes of marathon training isn't helping either I'm sure. I'm a numbers girl, and I want to see my run mileage be a certain number the end of each week. I'm struggling to give up those runs to the swim and bike, but know damn well what this means on 70.3 "race" day.
I feel like I'm one of those people that tells me on a Wednesday that they're attempting their first marathon on the upcoming weekend, and the longest run s/he did in training was 14 miles. I try to mask my horror, and try not to cringe at the pain that poor person is going to feel at mile 20. Shudder.
Yet there's a huge (masochistic??) part of me that wants to see what I'm made of. Clearly, I'm expecting this race to take a solid 7 hours, and God knows I've never had a 7 hour training day. Sure, I can run, but how well after a 1.2 mile swim/float and 56 miles worth of saddle time? I'm assuming it'll be a "wog" at best.
I'm in shape, that I know. I'm on week #3 of consecutive 50+ run miles, plus a swim (yes, singular) and a bike (maybe 2, both over 30 miles). No, I'm not foolish enough to think that run miles convert to anything other than pounding the pavement, but I'm certainly banking on that run fitness to get me to the finish line of the 70.3.
My "A" race for the year is Chicago. And I'm an intelligent person who's well aware of the stupidity of throwing in a half ironman 4 weeks before my "A" race. Especially when the longest triathlon I've ever done has been a sprint. Yet I've somehow convinced myself that if I take two whole days off after Pumpkinman, I'll be good as new to march along with my Chicago training as if nothing ever happened.
In my practical brain, I know full well it's silly, but my emotional brain is overriding everything at the moment. Case in point - there's a the Race Around the Cape 25K on Labor Day (6 days before Pumpkinman), and also a 30K race that I would LOVE to race the weekend after Pumpkinman. I was an Exercise Physiology major in college my friends; I know FULL WELL that this is a terrible, horrible, no good idea. However, my heart wants to do it all, to see how far I can push myself. Fear not, I can pretty much guarantee you that I would laugh at the idea of that 30K thirty seconds after I cross the finish line at Pumpkinman.
This upcoming weekend is calling for a 20 miler on Saturday and a 60 mile ride on Sunday. The 20 miler will push me up over 50 run miles on the week, so if my legs can make it through Sunday's ride without falling right off, I'll feel much more confident in my survival of this race.
And if it doesn't go well? I've chosen not to think about that.